When Bruce and I went to Roma, we ate at a local restaurant off the tourist track. We wanted the real Italy, not a shishi tourist trap. The restaurant was great but I'll NEVER forget our waitress. I loved how sassy she was. She wasn't gorgeous or sexy LOOKING, but her personality was on fire! You couldn't help but watch her and love her. The old heavy set cook called out, "Barbaraaa!" And she would spout off something in Italian which obviously meant "chill out I'll get there when I get there" She bustled around ordering the boys around like they were all her children. She asked why I wasn't eating much, and how I needed something special. She returned with a huge bottle of home made Limoncello! "Drink drink!" She ordered. (I am a cheap date. I can't drink much without getting drunk AND sick.) But I had a two shots with her which tasted amazing. I silently laughed as every man in the place was obviously in love with her. They watched her every move. The old british women sitting next to us were offended by her "loud rough demenor". NOTE: Women either love or hate MORE confident women...always!
I chose to learn from this Italian dynamo!
A few days ago a dear friend told me how I need to focus on my talents and personality to get acting and singing gigs. He said how we Angelenos only focus on weight and looks and forget what's really important...talent. It was then I remembered Barrrbaara. It was obvious by how she walked and behaved it never occurred to her that she wasn't amazing. She wasn't rich or gorgeous. She was simply HER and that was enough to celebrate.
Reality checks are needed when living in tinseltown. Sometimes getting knocked off your career rocker isn't a bad thing. I was working with a comedian the other day and he reminded me how being humbled opens new doors and brings a new outlook. After years of being super concerned about my appearance, I'm actually happy just the way I am. It took 29 years, but better late than never. I look at myself in the mirror and instead of hating what I see, I see the story of my life. The scars are little presents left behind by monumental events I'm proud to have lived through. We are all human. It's not like I'm going to be naked on camera or sing in a g-string! That's not my style. They don't call me Zaftig Shaina Malena for nothing.
I'm taking the advice of an old master and use this time to focus on my talent. If I were friends with Barbara...If she lived in Hollwood, I'll bet she wouldn't care about her bad skin or a wrinkle here and there. From what I saw, nothing could stop her and no one would dare tell her no. We should all have that self esteem. Regardless of superficial crap like hair and the size of our chests, we all have great stories to tell, great lessons to teach and lives that could be lived more fully if we changed our focus from outer beauty to inner strength. There is always something to celebrate. Life is worth celebrating and simply being a woman is something to be proud of.
Love and lots of Italian attitude,
Malena
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